Of Tannenbaums And Temples
by Gojirob
Summary: With some good grace and a little humor, the people who survived the Dominion War also survive the 25th of December in this series of shorts. Can Saint Nick borrow the wormhole?
1. Decrease The Surplus Population

**Decrease the Surplus Population**  
by Rob Morris

December 23rd, 2375, Space Station Deep Space Nine

To his credit, he tried to endure it all. All the tributes to the noted Terran holiday.

Rom and Nog.

"A Merry Christmas, Bob! A Merrier Christmas than I've given you for many a year. I have decided-to also hire able-bodied members of your family!"

"Oh, Mister Scrooge! You are far too generous. Together we will drive the competing lenders out of business, and form a monopoly that will encompass all of Greater London."

Worf and Martok.

"Mister Potter, you are a p'tagh! Admit that you stole the money from my feeble-minded Uncle who has now taken his own life in penance!"

"I am the ally of Molor, George Bailey! You and all your House shall spend the New Year in Grethor's dankest pit, and the savings and loan shall at last be mine! Now raise your bat'leth!"

Leeta and Kira.

"He realized the day meant so much more, and they say his heart grew three sizes plus two that day."

"But the Prophets wished to test the sincerity of his conversion, so he was misled to believe he was to dwell in the Fire Caves. When he accepted this as his just punishment for past misdeeds, he was then permitted to bring the toys, trees and decorations back to Whoville, along with the Orb Of Unselfishness."

Finally, a small Vulcan girl knelt before the possible reincarnation of the father of their culture.

"Despite my most sincere and yet illogical hopes, I must at last judge that you are not Surak at all."

She opened her eyes and stood up.

"You're just a nice man with a beard, like my mother said."

Blank-eyed, Sisko got up and walked away, claiming war-bred exhaustion. Back in his quarters, he ran a highly secularized but happily unaltered ancient Christmas vid, and the captain smiled.

"Happy Birthday, Frosty."


	2. Yes, Molly

**Yes, Molly**  
by Rob Morris

Just as Nerys had shown her, Molly prayed at the Shrine. Only later would her parents explain about different faiths and beliefs.

"A bunch of kids said that there is no Santa Claus. I guess that's okay. But-could you maybe make it so there is one?"

Her answer was a small, playful light that returned to the wormhole very quickly.

"You mean you will? But how?"

How indeed.

4TH CENTURY ASIA MINOR, EARTH

The old bishop lay dying without an ounce of regret. His had been a life true to his beliefs, especially philanthropy, those acts of human charity that were a mere reflection of that charity held by the divine.

By his side stood a matron of a wealthy and respected House known for its devoutness.

"So many years ago. My sisters and I were on the verge of destitution. Rather than lose our home-we were to sell ourselves, to faithless men on The Feast Of Nativity itself. Once marked as such creatures, we would have been little better than slaves, for all our lives. So on Nativity Eve, we made up our finery for the next day, and left our stocking-feet to dry by the fireplace. When the day of our ruin came, imagine our shock to find enough money in those stockings to see us through til our family came for us the next month. The others didn't see, but I did. It was you snuck in and gave us that money. All I have I owe to you. Your place in Heaven is already made."

Unable to watch his final passing, the matron left. But others had plans for the Old Bishop.

Without warning, he found himself in a white void. Surrounding him were The Patriachs Of Rome, Constantinople, and Alexandria.

"You Are The Giver."

"You Are The Nicholas."

"You Are The Santa."

"You Shall Always Be So."

CARDASSIA, 2378

Garak saw the children running about the streets unusually happy. In their hands were tough, durable toys carved finely from quality wood.

"No...it can't be."

Coming home to find a package addressed to him, he found inside an exquisite Kelioum Puzzle, such as he had desperately wanted as a child, but had never told anyone about. Playing with it, he half-cracked a smile.

"You know, it's a pity that I've reformed. I could really use the coal."


	3. He's Not Santa

**He's Not Santa**  
By Rob Morris

DECEMBER 24TH, 2381, EARTH

Yoshi waited in the living room as midnight approached. His parents and older sister knew better than to try and keep him in bed. Molly was asleep nearby, having set all house systems on child alert.

"I'm going to see him!"

If only his Mommy and Daddy could be there with him. But work at the Academy had kept Miles late, and Keiko complained of a headache.

Yoshi saw a light by the fireplace.

"He's here!"

A jolly fat man in a red suit and a beard with a bit of a brogue in his voice appeared, looking around.

"Ho-ho-ho! Meeeerry Christmas! This looks like the home of good little boys and girls!"

Another light appeared by the fireplace. Another jolly fat man with a beard and a red suit appeared. This one had a touch of Britain in his voice.

"Merry Christmas! I came right down Santa Claus Lane just to be here!"

The first Santa looked confused.

"Ho-ho-who are you?"

Now the second Santa looked confused.

"I'm errr-Santa—from Sickbay? Chief Santa, is that you?"

Yoshi saw the two huddle, but did not hear their words.

"Julian? I said I'd be doing this."

"Sorry, Miles. But didn't you say you had a bad back?"

"THAT WAS-that was to throw Yoshi off. Now what do we do?"

"Relax, Chief. We're both Santa. We just had a transporter accident that split-ohhh, we're dead."

"No, we're not. I'll unmask. You'll thank me for helping out you—the real Santa."

"No, Chief. I'm expendable. I'll unmask."

"Julian, this isn't an away mission. Besides, we can salvage this before its gets any-"

Another light appeared.

"Miles? It just got any."

"Ho! I have come to reward those children who have kept to discipline and hard work! I know well the dishonorable from the honorable!"

This Santa wore an ornate suit of battle armor. His beard was white, a contrast with his dark skin. O'Brien walked up, and looked over his unhidden head ridges.

"Martok did a better job at the Promenade Holiday Party late in the war, and he wasn't raised on Earth!"

Finally, a frustrated Yoshi came out of hiding.

"Daddy, will you and these guys stop playing around? You'll scare off the real Santa Claus!"

Out the front door the three Nicks went. All were silent until Worf spoke and pointed.

"By the fireplace inside! Another light."

Bashir shook his head.

"Can it be?"

O'Brien smiled.

"Gentlemen, why not? We've all faced greater wonders."

The door opened again, and a figure was angrily pushed out by Yoshi. This Santa had the standard suit and beard, but no padding, which did nothing to hide her figure. As she took off the cap hiding her long dark hair, Keiko looked at her fellow Kringles, as upset with herself as with any of them.

"In the future, I'd suggest that some coordination might be in order."

Singing along to Sinatra and Crosby's *We Wish You The Merriest*, the four Santas failed to notice yet another light inside the O'Brien domicile, and the delighted laughter of Molly and Yoshi. 


	4. Sisko Gets Mamed!

**Sisko Gets Mamed!**  
by Rob Morris

(Set to the tune of 'We Need A Little Christmas' as sung in the Broadway Musical 'Mame' starring Angela Lansbury)

(Kira is in Sisko's office; Jake walks in on their talk)

Kira : We simply can't sustain this level of casualties much longer, Captain.

Sisko : I know, Major ( Looks depressed )

Jake : Sorry, Dad. Major-do you want me to put up that Comparitive Religion display yet, next to The Bajoran Shrine?

Kira : Not...just yet Jake. Put it up closer to The Nativity's traditional date of celebration on your world.

Sisko : Comparitive Religion?

Kira : Yes, Sir. Your Father sent us a real Victorian-Era Nativity-Tree-fully decorated. A well-aimed shot at Her Eminence. Yeah, Jake-put it up, middle of next month. We can string those plants and lights then, to.

Sisko : No. Do It Now, Jake.

Kira : Sir? What Are You Saying?

Jake : Yeah, Dad. What Should We Do?

Sisko : Haul Out The Holly; Put Up The Tree Before My Spirit Falls Again;

Jake : And Fill Up The Stockings?

Kira : Sir, that may be rushing things.

Sisko : Yes, But Deck The Halls Again -Now!

( Walks Out To Ops )

Sisko : Dax, We Need A Little Christmas.

Dax : Right This Very Minute?

Sisko : ( Nodding ) Candles In The Window.

Bashir : Sir - Carols At The Spinnet!

Miles : So We Need A Little Christmas?

Keiko : Right This Very Minute?

Worf : Captain, It Has Not Snowed A Single Flurry!

Kira : But Dammit, Worf We're In A Hurry!

Odo : I'll Slide Through The Promenade;

Sisko : Constable, Put Up The Brightest String Of Lights I've Ever Seen!

Quark : Half-Off On Fruitcake!

Miles : ( To Bashir ) Its Time We Hung Some Tinsel On That Docking Bay Bow!

Dax : Cause I'm now a little leaner

Nog : Now A Little Older

Worf : Now A Little Sadder

Odo : Now A Little Colder

Sisko : And We Need To Knock That Chip Off The Founders' Shoulders;

All : We Need A Little Christmas Now

Kira : Haul Out The Holly

Sisko : Haven't I Taught You Well To Obey My Visions Now;

Rom : I bought up Quark's fruitcake!

Garak : But..you see its just one week past Thanksgiving Day Now!

All : But We Need A Little Christmas; Right This Very Minute; Even If Most Here Don't Quite Celebrate It; And We Need A Little Something Happy Ever After; We Need A Little Christmas Now;

Quark : Betting says there's not a flurry!

Kira : But Prophets We're All In A Hurry

Miles : So spike up the egg nog;

Keiko : Its been a long time since we got really blasted now!

Quark : We Fed Morn All The Fruitcake!

All : Its time we kicked some big-time Dominion Butt Now; For We Need A Little Christmas; Right This Time Of Season; Rampant Shoppers Shopping; Forgetting The Real Reason; But We Have Our Charlie Brown tape; Playing On The Viewer; We Need A Little Christmas NOoooooowwwwww!

(The Next Morning)

Sisko : Ohhhh...I remember taking Defiant out.

Keiko : I feel like I just had both kids at the same time-only I was the gong.

Miles : That...was some good egg nog.

Nog : Please...don't mention eggs.

Bashir : I have enhanced DNA...and I can see it all...owww.

Dax : Somebody remove me! Remove me now!

Jake : I'm Wes, the problem-solving geek...no. I'm Peter the Dragon-killer...no. I'm The Reporter! ( Gasps ) I'M SUPERMAN!

Garak : Don't You Humans know cloning is illegal? So why are there three of each of you?

Kira : Ask Bareil and Kai Opaka. They're standing right next to me.

Worf : I Know! I KNOW!

Sisko : ( Annoyed, holds his head ) You Know What?

Worf : The Secret Ending To Ancient Destroyer!

All : Yeah? And?

Worf : ( Laughs ) Face!

Quark : Just how drunk did we all get?

Sisko : I'll ask around...

( Staggers off; Stumbles Back )

Sisko : I got the answer! Captain Pike and Number One say to me-we musta been pretty darned drunk!

Back on DS9

Jemhadar First : Tell The Federation That We Are Ready To Betray The Founders.

(Sips The Egg Nog)

Jemhadar First : The Founders may be our gods-but ( Sips More Egg Nog ) these humans make the BEST Kitrocel White I have ever had!

Next : Peter Kirk and The Ancient Destroyer Children's Choir sing 'Happy Holidays'


End file.
